|Sebastian Ballard [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c2/Curves_in_Ashwood_Way_-_geograph.org.uk_-_1033645.jpg|
I have to admit that somewhere in my teaching career I turned a corner. Twice.
It’s not that I don’t love Spanish any more; I love language and the logic behind it. I love discovering new words and connections to other words, and I love when the lights come on for students. Teaching Spanish is fun!
At some point, I realized that I love teaching. It doesn’t matter the subject (gasp), I just love helping others learn. And I think it shows. It’s exciting and I like to share that excitement. Reading books, attending training sessions, reading educator and administrator blogs, listening to other teachers-all of these are thrilling and inspiring. I love to learn new ways to teach, and I love to experiment. Teaching is fun!
In an ideal world, I can go to work each day and have the time of my life. There are new lessons to craft, and old lessons to tweak. My “unread bookshelf” is full and I am reading any number of books all at the same time.
Back in the real world, some days aren’t as awesome as others. At times I go home discouraged, tired and overwhelmed, and I need to distance myself from it, at least for a time.
It’s not that I don’t love teaching any more; I still love to teach. There is a thrill in implementing a new idea, in stretching myself to grow through failure or success, and in helping my students to do the same.
But, I’ve realized that I have turned another corner.
I love my students. I love each of them, regardless of yesterday, today, or tomorrow.
Love is a choice, like my career. I choose to love them; it is my decision to make.
Love is a calling, like my career. I am called to love them; it is my responsibility to do it.
What sends me home depressed at the end of the day? An unsuccessful lesson? No. A grammar error I made? No. A jam in the copy machine. No.
It is the relationships. I share in my students’ joys and sorrows. I worry about them, grieve over them, celebrate with them, and sometimes communicate my frustration to them. I want to see each of my students become a man or woman of honor, to choose what is right over what is convenient, to take responsibility for himself or herself.
Their success or failure is not ultimately up to me. But I have a role to play. I can believe in my students. I can show them the right way. I can challenge them to care and to dare.
I love when I hear from or about my former students:
- one is in medical school;
- two are pursuing doctorate degrees in the sciences;
- several have graduated from Ivy League schools;
- one has graduated from the Naval Academy;
- three former students now teach in our school district;
- one is currently serving with the Peace Corps in Paraguay;
- one is in graduate school to become a Spanish teacher (awesome!);
- several serve in the military;
- many are raising families;
But there are other stories:
- my students often move away (transience is a large issue in our school);
- some students bounce in and out of classes, or in and out of cyber, alternative, and public school;
- at least three of my former students went to prison from high school;
- many of my former students dropped out of high school;
- at least five of my former students have died from alcohol, drug use, careless accident or suicide;
- more than a dozen of my former students have had criminal charges against them, and many continue in that lifestyle.
It can be very discouraging.
But I cannot give up.
My students today have not made their choices.
I do not know the future.
Therefore, I choose to love today. I cannot fix their yesterday, but I can help with today, and I can invest in tomorrow.
The choice is theirs, but I am going to be the best coach, encourager, parent, teacher that I can.